Confucius Say; Leave, Leave Quickly And Pray You Don’t Have Bird Flu

So I have this habit of eating in terrible restaurants. For some reason, whenever I look up a restaurant on Yelp and it has a 1.5 rating or something of that fashion, I take it as a personal challenge! I should stop, because honestly, I’m going to die. There’s no better example of why I […]

How to Lose Customers and Infuriate People – An Entertaining Interesting Restaurant Review

I was drunk. Staggeringly drunk! I checked into the hotel (not important which one) and face planted on the bed. I woke up about two hours later a little disillusioned and foaming at the mouth and decided I needed to get some food in me. I called down to the front table and asked about […]

Puking In America – The Worst Restaurant, Potentially Ever

I try not to exaggerate. It’s been something that has gotten on my nerves ever since I was little. “I literally exploded.” No you didn’t. You’re here telling me this weak ass story so clearly and unfortunately, you did not explode. So please know that when I tell you that Colony Café in Miami Beach […]

Food Poisoning and Other Extreme Sports

Everyone is familiar with the Chinese craving I think. At least, everyone in the first world. It’s like 6 in the afternoon and nothing in the fridge particularly peaks your interest. You’re not in the mood to dress up and eat fancy but at the same time, a vegetarian friend of yours showed you ‘Supersize […]

Review: Mango Max Smoothies and Greens

This has been a season of new and unusual offerings in the area, and one of the freshest and most innovative is Mango Max Smoothies and Greens. Taking aim at some of the fastest growing niches in the emerging foodie market, Mango Max has created a venue where vegan and carnivore can coexist and, if […]

Review: Carlotta & Phil’s Fish & Chips

While most would not consider a fish and chips joint to be worthy of a restaurant review, Carlotta & Phil’s Fish & Chips is a bit different, in many different ways. First of all, despite the American passion for sea foods, the ubiquitous British Fish & Chips stand never quite caught on here. But Carlotta […]

Review: Bottle Top Wine Bar and Restaurant

If you are looking for an easy going, low key place to relax with a nice Merlot or curl up with a Chablis and some cheese, the Bottle Top Wine Bar and Restaurant is just the place. Catering to a younger crowd, the Bottle Top is a far cry from the high pressure pick up […]

“Authentic” & “Organic” Italian Garbage

Notice the speech marks. For the love of god, notice the speech marks! Pasta Italiana 2623 Connecticut Ave Washington, DC 20008 Woodley Park Got that address? Don’t lose it now. Pass it down from generation to generation of your family and warn them of this place. Don’t let them visit it, don’t let them look […]