Restaurant Spy

Why do they serve Jasmine tea in Marxist restaurants ?

Because all proper tea is theft boom boom.

Four of us found ourselves hungry in Soho last night, having just seen The Big Tease (an excellent film about a Glasgow hairdresser who goes to LA - you should definitely see it) This venerable Chinese restaurant has been in Soho for as long as anyone can remember, so we entered with confidence. The other three ordered the shredded duck pancake thing and asked for extra pancakes. The waitress said "No". "How many pancakes do we get with the duck for three?" asked M After some thought, the waitress said six, and if we wanted extra, we could ask for them, when we had eaten the first lot. Not an auspicious start to a meal, eh? Despite having been born and raised in Glasgow, M has spent a fair amount of time in LA and has picked up the habit of asking for things which are not on the menu. She has picked up this idea that, as a paying customer, she's entitled to do this. I ordered sesame toast and vegetable dumplings to start, and we chose an assortment of fish and meat dishes, rice and noodles. Getting above ourselves again, we ordered a bowl of soft noodles, which weren't on the menu either. The waitress looked stern, but made no comment and wrote something down. We asked for green tea too "No" said the waitress "Only Jasmine tea".

My dumplings arrived, stuffed full of minced pork, something of a shock! The waitress replaced them without comment. M said the staff all used to come from Hong Kong and sleep in dormitories over the restaurant. "They still do" said C, "only now they come from mainland China" . This certainly would explain the attitude. The soft noodles arrived hard and fried, but we didn't dare. The rest of the food was good - not outstanding - just regular, decent, Chinese restaurant fare. The bill for four was a surprise - £76.10 - almost £20 each! We'd only had two courses, and three Kirin beers between us. Then we realised the bill for food was actually £67.60, and they had added just over 12.5% service. Service? This sour faced young lady had not yet grasped that there is a connection between the way she treats customers and their willingness to add gratuities to the bill. We rounded it up to £70 and left. Daisy Middleton (9th February 2000)