Hard, hot oven chips accompanying a large out-of-the-packet hamburger on a soggy bun with a so-so undressed salad really doesn’t amount to a good lunch in my book and it could have been so, so different.

A huge cheery smile surges out at you from a genuinely friendly barman in this very out-of-the-way pub tucked round the back of the Pantiles. You’d never necessarily stumble across this place, so sandwich boards and notices abound directing you either over a car park or down two hidden alleyways. “The biggest covered patio on the Pantiles” it screams – oh, come on it’s the ONLY covered patio on the Pantiles. Just perfect for that day when its warm enough to make you want to go outside but doubly great for the cautious if there’s a sudden Kent downpour. The inside is a mess of rooms – one pubby, one lounge-bar-ey and one like a corridor. There were a few hardy souls littered around the place, and the welcome made us reach for the gastro-pub-typed-clever-language menu.

Q always reckons that a burger is a good barometer of places like these – it should be a hand-gathered knobbly mis-shape of ground beef, hard on the outside, soft, juicy tender-pink on the inside. It wasn’t. M