Restaurant Spy

A massive back garden with equipment for children to play on, friendly welcoming service and an impressive menu of international dishes make the Greyhound one of the ideal destination pubs to visit in Wadhurst. TOG-type locals perching on the end of stools, discussing golf stories complete the scene as a veritable mound of cheese accompanies their locally-acclaimed Ploughmans, surely one of the best Ploughmans around. Very very recommended. They have rooms too. M

'Careful you don't get your ming caught, Doris' I was tempted to say as we sat down to eat after a spiffing carol service in St Paul's Cathedral. Ming Court is about halfway between Ludgate Circus (never any clowns there when I'm passing) and Sir Christopher Wren's famous church: Sir Christopher Wren/ Said I'm going to dine with some men/ If anyone calls/ Tell them I'm designing St Paul's (E. Clerihew Bentley). Anyhow, this place is jolly good, catering to City types during the day and to pissed City types and tourist types after the sun is over the yardarm. Service is swift, discreet, helpful (they announce the food as they put it on the table - let's face it's often hard to tell one thing from another, just by looking). The food is hot and delicious (Szechwan with a bit of Thai thrown in) and prices are not bad - not cheap though - for this part of London. Toilets clean, coats hung for you, and all that stuff.

This place opened about 15 years ago, when I worked in The Cut. It had been a Barclays Bank, and they kept the polished wooden counter in the middle, giving the room quite a Spanish feel. I went once or twice, but I didn't think it would really take off. Nothing wrong with it, but it was usually pretty empty and I thought maybe Londoners simply didn't 'get' tapas. Shame, because it was good. Last week we'd arranged to eat at Livebait, but on a whim darted into Meson Don Felipe instead. What a difference ! It was heaving, but we managed to get two seats at the bar. Glass of fino each and three tapas did us nicely, especially as the tapas portions were more like a 'racion', and you get bread and butter. We got six big Champignones Fritos, (deep fried mushrooms) eight Croquettas Atùn (tuna fishcakes, spherical and a tiny bit dry) and an Ensalata Especial which involved more tuna, olives, tomatoes, egg, lettuce and mayonnaise. All good stuff and freshly made, it's obvious why it's popular. Understandably, they have crammed as many tables in as possible, and just as we were about to eat, the waiter asked us to move up so that two more people could squeeze in. And that's my only complaint, really. You can't sit comfortably at a bank counter anyway, but perched on a stool with people brushing past you all the time just ain't relaxin'. And 18 inches (Oh, OK - 45cm) behind you sit other diners, also on stools, at very small tables.

Tom Aikens is superb. It is easy when writing about somewhere you like to use words like that but in Tom Aikens' case it is true. We went for lunch. The exterior is discreet. Inside the restaurant consists of one average sized room with wooden floors and the decor predominantly black and white. Tables are well and thoughtfully spaced. The windows are half covered in raffia blinds. Tall mirrors line one wall and five abstract pictures hang near the entrance. At first this might sound a little austere but the purpose soon becomes clear. This restaurant has been very cleverly thought out and everything concentrates the mind on the food. Which is dazzling.

Painful. It’s the only way I can describe it. The table is seated for 8 o’ clock. You only get to place an order at 9 o’ clock (and only a main course mind you). After 3 hours of pitiful, teeth-grindingly bad service (all for that one main course) it was simply too much to bear. And it compelled me to write these words. Now, stop me if I’m wrong but this is not the way it’s meant to happen. I always like to think that going out for dinner is a stab at enjoying yourself of an evening. I know it’s not a God given right but you do have some entitlement to a certain level of attention when dining outside the confines of your own home. Well, you won’t get it if you eat here. Not without asking first anyway. Picture this: one member of staff taking an order (eventually); another member of staff disputing everything you say when chasing the original order (tectonic plates move faster than these guys). And, repeat. Ad nauseum. “We ordered some cheese and I wondered if it was on its way?” “ We don’t do cheese.” “You do. I ordered some about half an hour ago.” “Oh really?” “Yes, really.” You get the gist. Such a shame when considering the quality of the food which was finally delivered. Beef and tomato sausages, rib eye steak and the salmon fillet were all expertly executed and an enjoyable feed. The mange tout even evoked childhood memories of eating peas from the vegetable garden. They were great. However, warm beer and white wine delivered sans cooler set the tone for the evening really. You should have an inkling something is afoot if the basics are ignored. The kitchen staff (although perfectly capable) were woefully under worked, which I am sure was a result of no orders being taken at tables. As a waitress you should adhere to the maxim that ‘being ditzy does not constitute cuteness’ – which in turn does not constitute service. If you are going to go (and I can’t think of a reason I would willingly go twice); go for the food. Just be prepared to fight (and wait) for it. Nickademus and Pliers

Last night I had the best burger I have ever eaten not only in London but in the whole of the UK, and so this morning I set about trying to find a way of letting the great unwashed know about this gem of a find, when I came across Restaurant Spy's "Best Burger in London" article. I read it with great interest, particularly as I am a little fussy about what I eat and I certainly would never put a chain restaurant (Mac D/Burger King/Wimpy etc) ordure infected patty in my mouth.

I'm sure I've reviewed this place before but I can't find it using the search thingy. Anyhow, I've been to Kettner's before and I still like it. The best thing about the place is it's in the middle of Soho and is a great place to take a lady or your mother (not that your mother is not a lady), especially if she has not heard about it. This is because it costs a lot less than it looks like you spent. Kettner's used to be Oscar Wilde's favourite restaurant until he became a permanent guest of Her Majesty. And it looks much the same, I guess, as it did when he was having a mouthfull here. There's a pianist, and Hogarthian prints and a nice carpet, and someone to fawn and look after your lady's muff. The rooms are elegant as hell, but it is really just a pizza house. It's the jewel in the crown of Pizza Express, and you'll get the usual menu here, but with knobs on and linen napery. There were four of us, post Christmas, and we had a lunch there. Blokes had burgers (Proper ones made of meat) with fries. Lady One had a so-called Soho pizza, with shaved Italian cheese and some fantastic ham and rocket all over it. Lady Two had a terrific looking salad. Afters were great, coffee was hot and strong and prices very good indeed for this sort of thing in the middle of London (though it seemed a bit more pricey to me than in the past). Service was excellent from a delightful young lady of ?French/?Spanish/?Italian extraction. My only complaint is that the gents, which used to boast huge Victorian urinals with 45 degree splashbacks, has been completely modernised. Gone is the polished brass and it's hello to stainless steel. Why? But I'm picking holes. Still a great place. APPROVED, Perry Stalsis 2005

HK Diner is a neat looking little place. With a modern open kitchen – a groovy little hang out filled with Chinese folk and young las and lasses. Because of the numbers of content locals and the fact that it looked a little different, we chose it ahead of all the other Chinese restaurants in Soho; myself and A were keen to eat before last trains home. So we wandered in looking for a bit of atmosphere and some steady china town fare, like crispy duck, hot & sour soup, you know the kind of thing.
Upstairs was full – I think – so we were taken downstairs to a grim little basement – claustrophobic, despite the mirrored wall on the “far’ side of the room. The tables and chairs were ugly wooden things and my bum hurt a lot after sitting there for couple of hours. We were bullied into ordering fast, which is pretty much the norm for Soho and one of the reasons people return. I remember choosing the Wong Kei time and again over other more friendly restaurants, just so I could be shouted at by the waiters and staff generally; great fun and no extra expense for the show. My favourite memory of that place was when I saw an American couple being berated by the waiter for trying to pay with a credit card – “ Money! Money! No card! No card!” HK diner is of that ilk but not as much fun.

What a pleasure to have a decent ''modern British'' place around the corner so to speak. Pinner High St is one of those little Metroland gems off the main road and close to the Underground Met. Line. Friends is housed in a genuine 16th Century Tudor cottage, and has been refurbed inside with black leather chairs and crisp white tablecloths and fresh flowers and a log fire.They also have an upmarket deli next door. The owner oversees the unhurried service and kitchens. The waiters are young but not the usual gormless spotty oiks you often encounter. They offer all sorts of a la carte, bistro, lunch, dinner and prix fixe menus with a vegetarian option on every one. We went for a Sunday lunch and it was welcoming, with a pleasant family atmosphere. Nice bread selections and for starters we both opted for the Smoked Salmon Parfait. Other choices were Roast Parsnip Soup, Game Terrine, Monkfish and Crab pate. Mains for both of us were traditional Roast Beef Sirloin cooked pinkish but nice and crusty outside, proper crunchy roast spuds and a nice selection of al dente veg. Options included Sea Bream fillet and Jugged Hare. And to finish Chocolate panna Cotta with Raspberries. Also on that days menu were Caramel Choux buns, Orange bread and Butter Pudding and Lemon Tarte. We had a nice lightish red wine(can't remember which) espressos and petit fours. The basic Menu for three courses is an excellent value £21.50. Treat yourself to a Sunday in Pinner. Farmers Market in the morning, a pint in the (Tudor) Queens Head and lunch in Friends. A further advantage was that we walked home,and collapsed for the rest of the day. Approved fully. Al Imentada

Picture the scene. You are at Kings Cross Station. The 1357 for Hetton le Hole doesn't leave for another 30 minutes. You are peckish. You look around. The golden arches of MacDonalds beckon - you find yourself irresistably drawn - just this once - it's not THAT bad. Yes it is. Stop. It doesn't have to be this way. Go out of the station and cross the road. Directly in front of you is the Chop Chop noodle bar. Go there. There is plenty of time. Chop Chop is really a cross between a noodle bar and a restaurant. It has the speed of a noodle bar but you can get wine there and you usually don't have to share a table. It is of average size with wooden tables and metal chairs, lots of mirrors and pinkish walls. It is unbelievably cheap. Last time I went I had hot and sour soup, a chicken curry with a huge dollop of rice, a glass of wine and bottled water for about eight quid. Most main course dishes are £3.90. They do all the usual stuff but again the choice is wider than the average noodle bar - lots of soups and satays, fried rice combinations, ho fun, vermicelli and noodles. You order (fast) by ticking little boxes on a card. Obviously it's not cordon bleu, but it's not bad and for the money it's brilliant. If you ask for water they'll give you tap water without being asked (though they do have bottled). It's that sort of place. Service is ridiculously fast. And good. Leave them a tip, they earn it. And don't worry, you will get your train. And all for the price of two sandwiches. Come on. Harry