I had the Chi Experience last week. It said so on my credit card receipt. You too can get the Chi experience if you visit the Chi Chinese Restaurant in Tunbridge Wells.

It was a midweek lunchtime and for the first time in ages I fancied a Chinese - so Poirot and I popped in. After we had looked at the ripped and stuck together again menu on the window (reason not to go in no. 1) and having waited for them to unlock the door for us (reason to not go in no. 2) we were seated. There were three waitresses on that day. Each one of them was in turn, surly, bored, miserable and really at times unhelpful. They only cheered up when the boss came in - who they surrounded in a kind of gaggle of giggles. The food was set menu - two choices from the starter list, two choices from the main course list and a pudding; all for £10. We had hot and sour soup, nice, chicken satay, dull, then we had Chicken Kung Po style, yawn, shredded szechuan beef, too sweet, baby corn in coconut milk, pudding sweet, another beef dish some rice and noodles. The noodles were very nice thank you. Another couple came to get a take away, but that was it for lunch. We ate on, the waitresses giggled at the boss who was enjoying the Chi experience, we finished, we paid, and we left. They couldn't have cared if we had been there or not. There is something missing about the Chi Experience - oh, an experience. Don't waste their time or yours. Miss Marple